


extort truth

by grumpy_squirrel



Series: critical role: canonverse snippets [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, I started writing it so long ago I forgot all the tags I was supposed to add here, also probably ooc, it ain't a war crime if you commit it before the war starts DAMMIT, lots of headcanons and projecting, no action. no plot. no beta. just talking. head empty, probably not canon compliant but we'll see, the only way Beau's allowed to ever hurt Essek is with her tell-no-lies fists, this is legit like 90 percent dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:35:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25031041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grumpy_squirrel/pseuds/grumpy_squirrel
Summary: Essek spills the beans to Beau 'cause Jester asked nicely #ExpositorBeauregardFuckingLionett
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Essek Thelyss, Jester Lavorre & Beauregard Lionett, Jester Lavorre & Essek Thelyss
Series: critical role: canonverse snippets [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1815541
Kudos: 57





	extort truth

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written and posted exclusively to AO3. If you're seeing it elsewhere - they do not have my permission to display or share it #

"Hey, Jester."

"Yeah, Beau?"

"Can you... send a message for me?"

"Of course! Who should I message, and what do I tell them? Is it Dairon? You’re worried about them? Booty call?"

"No. Ughh. Okay, I got this," Beau sighs to herself. "Can you ask Essek if he's free?”

"Um... Like now? Are you sure it's a good idea? I mean, we didn't have to  _ fight  _ the turtle but aren't you… you know, exhausted? I've concluded politics are exhausting, and boring."

"A little. That just means I won't have too much energy to argue with him now. Tell him to _ not fuck it up, though,"  _ another deep sigh. "Geez I sound like Dairon. Don't! Don't repeat that part." She chuckles nervously despite herself.

"Okay, I'm sending a message to Essek." Jester takes a big inhale and traces the arcane symbols. "Hi, Essek! Beau's wondering if you're free to chat right now. She says, and I quote, 'Don't. Fuck. It. Up.' I'm sure you won't! Loveya!"

"Why are you so nice to him, Jessie?"

"Isn't it obvious? Or... I guess you missed half of that conversation. And I missed the second part, getting my mama, but I don't think anything he said would change my mind. Poor Fjord, he missed, like, everything- okay shhh!"

Jester hears a response in her head, "Ah, I'm not sure if it's a good idea? Beauregard is kind of… Well, she's Beauregard. But if that would make you happy, we can try." There's a pause so long in the response, she almost wonders if the spell broke, maybe it did.

“Teleporting on your ship in twenty, then. Hope I don't land in the ocean, but I have a good record so far. You can reply…" Jester's surprised when she hears the end of that message.

"Oh, um, did you run out of words and sent another message? Man, that's embarrassing!" she chuckles lightly. "See you in a bit, then.” She gives Beau thumbs up.

The monk smiles gently at her, but continues the conversation in a harsh tone. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Fjord  _ did _ miss everything. And then he died!"

"Not Essek's fault, though!"

"That's true," Beau agrees begrudgingly. "But seriously, why are you so nice to him, Jess?"

"He's lonely, Beau. Lonely people hurt, and can do questionable things sometimes."

"I was lonely. _ You  _ were lonely. He's an entitled rich bastard."

"That's not true! Also, I turned out okay because I had the Traveler! He's like... an extreme version of you, you know? Caleb said Essek is like a mirror to him, and he's probably right. But sometimes mirrors reflect glimpses of other mirrors in the area. Kinda, if you place them right. It looks really cool, this sort of inception."

"We're nothing alike."

"If you say so. Let’s do some math. Lots of pressure from your parents, couldn't do what you wanted, forced into a religion and local family business, spied on people..."

"Fuck. Okay, point taken. I still didn't turn out to be a piece of shit."

"You had the Mighty Nein for almost a year now. He's been alone and bitter for like a century. I think he can still turn out okay, you know? He just needs patience, kindness and some positive reinforcement. I know the visit to your family hurt you, and I don't blame you, but maybe it'd do you some good to address it sometime. We still don’t know anything about his family, he barely gave us  _ a name.  _ Maybe you could bond over it or something?"

"Maybe."

They hear a quiet  _ foomph  _ behind them, heads snapping in the direction of the noise. And here he is, Essek in all his disguised glory. Holding a box of plain doughnuts that looks like someone squeezed it a little too hard, but still functional. He awkwardly hands it to Jester, and her eyes widen in awe.

“Aww, you remembered!” She gives him a half-hug with her elbow, hands occupied with the box.

"You wanted to see me, Beauregard?"

"No, I wanted to talk. And I still don't see  _ you."  _ She huffs, crossing her arms.

"Fair enough," he sighs and lets go of the disguise. "Habits."

"That's better. Can you leave us alone, Jester?"

"Um. Sure." She leans in to pat Essek's shoulder and whisper to his ear, "Thank you. Good luck!"

When Jester leaves the space below deck, Beau sighs loudly. "Let's get this over with."

"Let's." With a wave of hand he pulls up two crates for them to sit on. Beauregard promptly ignores the one he gets for her, dragging another from under the wall. Essek gives her a curious look, something between amusement and an exasperated _ 'really? is this necessary?' _

"You're on thin fucking ice, Thelyss. Your smugness really doesn't help your case." She perches on the crate, arms still crossed, and Essek wonders for a brief moment how long it'll take until she topples over or flops on her face until he notices how steady she actually is.

"I merely mirror the attitude I'm facing."

"Oh, I know. Your tricks won’t work on me, I do that too. And I really want to punch you in the face right now."

"What's stopping you, Beauregard?"

"Jester and Caleb will be upset."

He huffs amused laughter at her words. "You said a few weeks ago that you can force the truth out of people. If that's what it'd take for you to... I don't know, since apparently half of you decided to give me a chance I don't deserve..."

Beau nods and readies a punch, aiming softer than she'd normally do. Essek doesn't try to dodge it. He winces as the hit connects with his shoulder; his eyes widen and he blinks rapidly as Beau's ability to extort truth takes effect.

"Oh wow, you weren't kidding."

"I rarely am. Now talk. Why did you trade the beacons?"

"I told you all, so many times. I wasn't allowed to study them here, so I gave them out of... I don’t know, spite, for a chance of research. They promised they will help me shed some of the mystery of how the beacons work."

"And how did that go?"

"They..." Essek sighs, "They gave me nothing."

"Figures. They're fucking Empire wizards."

"I know better, now."

"Do you?"

"Yes. And, to be fair, the war proper didn't even start  _ because _ of my carelessness. There were tensions for thirty years, yes, but the war didn’t start for two whole years after I gave the beacons to the Assembly.

"We had this... pair of zealots, you know? They got a word that the beacon was in one of the biggest cities, and they went for it before anyone could stop them, or before anyone could make a solid plan. One of them sent us a message, that the retrieval mission was going to be successful. Message cut off with an explosion going off. And then, nothing. I didn't know these two personally, they were stationed in Asarius.

"Bright Queen lost her temper and directed an attack on the Ashguard Garrison in retaliation, and next thing we knew, there's a war. Their partner, missing and thus later identified as Thuron, didn't return. Neither did the beacon. Until it did. When you showed up."

"Oh. Oh _fuck."_ Beau's eyes widen and her jaw falls.

"What?"

"We... might've accidentally started the war."

"And now you ended it."

"But now we ended it."

"I know what you're feeling right now... Like you're a fraud."

"Don't analyse me."

"I feel you, I really do. I..."

"So next question, Thelyss. How is _ that  _ not the worst thing you've ever done?"

"I can't regret- I don't understand- I don't know how to feel guilty over abstract people I've never met. I'm not particularly bothered about my father's fate, either. I tried, I really did, it's just not happening." He sighs.

"Do you even feel  _ anything at all?" _

"I'd like to think I do. Now, at least. Strange kinship with Yasha. Shame for disappointing Jester, and Caduceus. Absolute regret for betraying your trust. For letting Caleb get hurt, and hurting his feelings, I think.”

"Hurting Caleb? What do you mean?" She cracks another punch as the effects of the previous one wear off.

Essek hisses with a wince. "Ow, we could've just had Jester cast that Zone of Truth."

"Too late. Now talk."

"Our holy arcanists asked the body of the scourger who was the one who armed her. She spit out the Taskhand. Adeen confessed eventually. The cult had access to the Assembly, or the Assembly had access to the cult in some way. And both wanted me dead. She was meant to take me out, not  _ him. _ I should've been more careful."

Beau acknowledges that with a nod. “You’re right. You should’ve been.”

Essek deflates, and sighs.

"So next question."

"You forgot to punch me."

"I don't need truth for this next question. Because ultimately your actions and intentions aren't the same, as Caduceus would say. So we'll see how that goes, if you truly rise to the occasion and face consequences."

"I'm listening."

"What next. What are you going to do- what 'good things' you want to do with us? Actually- that was a lie," she trails off for another punch. "What did you really mean by taking care of loose ends?”

Essek massages his temples. "One thing at the time."

"Sure. I can do this all day."

"I don't know what are your next plans, or even what  _ you _ think making the world a better place is, but I'm happy to tag along for a while, if you'd have me? Otherwise, I'll keep researching Tharizdun, I don't believe the cult is done and stopped for good. Maybe I'll find something about the shackles. Maybe visit one of the sources of this recent chaos up north..."

"Mhm," she nods.

"The loose ends... well, if I want to leave, I need a good reason. My Queen still relies on certain sensitive intel I'm dealing with. Reports, boring paperwork stuff. Maybe help train my successor. And then... I'll quit my job. Visit my brother and say bye to him, or have a last family dinner. Then, I'm all yours."

"Hold up! You have a brother?"

"Yes. Well, multiple siblings adopted into our Den as important nobles from the past. And one little brother that's blood."

"Aww. Wait, do you mean little as in five years old or like fifty?"

"He's... uh... thirty two years younger than me, I think."

"You  _ think?!" _

"I... don't have the best relationship with him as you can tell, from my side at least. Kid adores me, but I don't understand him, and why, at all. Rather small ambitions, he's just happy to be around. Personality similar to that blink dog you had, now that I think about it..."

"So lemme get this straight. You have a brother, that you know nothing about, who loves you but you feel... or felt apprehensive until very recently."

"Something like that, yes."

"Fuck, you  _ are  _ me," she grumbles quietly under her nose.

He tilts his head curiously and raises an eyebrow at her.

"None of your goddamn business."

"Fair enough."

Beauregard grins. "We remind you of him, eh?"

"Not all of you." Essek snorts. "Definitely Fjord and Jester, though."

"Then I guess your brother really deserves that goodbye. Don't rush it, give him as much time as he needs. Give yourself as much time as  _ you  _ need. Or, you know, just visit him from time to time, it's really not that fucking hard. You can teleport anywhere any time you want, and you can send a message."

"I'll consider this."

"You better. You know, I was thinking of an appropriate punishment for you earlier, a way to rehabilitate you and make you pay for what you've done. As an Expositor I can't just let that slide without consequences. You understand that, right?"

"Of course. And what would those be?"

"I’m thinking... a field trip with us. All the way to Alfield, maybe through Hupperdook. No teleports, no fancy clothes or tasty food, no beds. Just grass and mosquitoes. Meet the war’s victims, we’re way overdue for a visit to Bryce and Kiri. And Molly. Get a taste of our humble beginnings. If you dare."

"I would love to try."

"Maybe you could even join the Cobalt Soul, train as a badass monk and rat out the Assembly while staying safe, they're a neutral party. I’ll have to ask about some sort of witness protection program. But I won't force you into that route, I'm better than my old fart. Just a thought"

Essek nods and sighs sadly after a moment, "I'm sorry, Beauregard. For everything."

"I know, and I can’t forgive you yet. But I’m willing to accept it for now."

"I should go."

"No. You stay on your ass. Hopefully we won't be harassed by any more dragon turtles or fish people. Join us for whatever you brought Jester, if she hasn't eaten it all already. Ooh, I think there might be some of Cad's cake left, but I have to warn you it was very dry. He's the best. Jester needed a little pick me up after I, uh… after you refused to buy her cupcakes.”

"He... baked a cake in the middle of an ocean?"

_ "I know, right?” _

"Somehow that's not the most surprising thing I've heard today," Essek chuckles and stands up from the crate, letting Beau lead him on the deck towards the rest of the group. "So, a dragon turtle, huh?”

**Author's Note:**

> wishful thinking for the ideal conversation between those two, but mostly I'm just happy CR is back


End file.
